Let's face it - nobody (well, almost nobody) wants to read a long rant on the so-called green grocers' apostrophes. But at the same time, sticklers (like me) want to limit their exposure to them.

So what can we do on a public forum that actively helps people punctuate that bit better? A fun, Mac-themed multiple choice test!

But before we begin, let's just get a couple of things straight:

This test aims to:

• Bring about constructive dialogue among members
• Cover a range of areas, so there will be an area unfamiliar to most people
• Make you think "oh, so that's how it's done"

It does NOT aim to:

• Cast judgement on your capacity as a literate citizen/resident of an English-speaking country
• Qualify your ability to write and speak proficiently in English
• Prejudice some members of MTAU over others based on their ability to proficiently work around just one of many rules of English orthography - trust me, I wrote the questions with a style guide next to me

There are two general rules to apostrophes (i.e. there are exceptions) - they are used:

1) to denote possession
2) to indicate a contraction/reduction where part of a word is removed


Get out a pen and paper, and write down the most appropriate answer. You have 17 (plus bonus) questions. Good luck!

1. Steve Jobs unveiled updated ____ today.
   a) iMacs
   b) iMac's
   
   
2. The software restore ____ come in handy when you least expect it.
   a) DVD's
   b) DVDs
   
   
3. The __-___ in Mail _____ showing in iCal!
   a) to-dos + arent
   b) to-dos + aren't
   c) to-do's + arent
   d) to-do's + aren't
   
   
4. Mac _____ are more willing to pay a high initial cost for lower TCO.
   a) user's
   b) users
   
   
5. Apple really hit rock bottom in the mid-___ before Steve finally returned in 1997.
   a) 90's
   b) '90s
   
   
6. Steve ____ health is speculated to be in decline.
   a) Jobs
   b) Jobs's
   c) Jobs'
   
   
7. __ a good thing that under Leopard, __ special features are useable.
   a) Its + its
   b) Its + it's
   c) It's + its
   d) It's + it's
   
   
8. MacTalk is a forum that helps with _______ questions.
   a) member's
   b) members'
   
   
9. Our two ________ favourite computer is our new Mac Mini.
   a) children's
   b) chidrens'
   
   
10. Out of all the ______, Mac OS X Leopard is by far the easiest to use by the average computer user.
    a) Unix's
    b) Unixs
    c) Unixes
    
    
11. My _____ speakers are hissing.
    a) iMacs
    b) iMac's
    
    
12. _____ organising a MTAU meet next week.
    a) There
    b) Their
    c) They're
    
    
13. People sell _____ PCs when they can't be bothered getting rid of all the malware.
    a) there
    b) their
    c) they're
    
    
14. We went to MacWorld and didn't leave ____ for 13 hours.
    a) there
    b) their
    c) they're
    
    
15. I think that ____ MacBook needs a big service.
    a) your
    b) you're
    
    
16. So what _____ saying is that we'll be paying more for less content if we have iTunes movies?
    a) your
    b) you're
    
    
17. ________ co-ordinating the effort to refresh the MTAU theme.
    a) Decryptions
    b) Decryption's

Scroll down for answers.

See any problems here?

Answers:

1. Steve Jobs unveiled updated iMacs today. (A)
   
   Why? Look at the word. Is it indicating possession or a contraction? No - it's indicating a plural. Therefore, all we need to do is stick an s on the end to make it a plural.
   
   
   
2. The software restore DVDs come in handy when you least expect it. (B)
   
   Why? Same reason as question 1 - plural needs just sticking on an s.
   
   
   
3. The to-dos/to-do's in Mail aren't showing in iCal! (B, D)
   
   Why? A plural on a three letter word like do is uncommon. But the same rule applies to make it plural - stick an s on it!
   
   BUT: since do is a short word, it can be misread if written as dos (DOS anyone?). Using do's eliminates the ambiguity, so is widely recognised as being acceptable also. Try and change your font if possible, so e.g. how-tos is preferable to how-to's
   
   As for aren't, look at the word: aren't = are+not. There's a contraction going on here, but where is it? Not has had its o removed, so the apostrophe fills its place, making aren't correct.
   
   
   
4. Mac users are more willing to pay a high initial cost for lower TCO. (B)
   
   Why? Users is the plural of user, so no apostrophe is needed here.
   
   
   
5. Apple really hit rock bottom in the mid-'90s before Steve finally returned in 1997. (B)
   
   Why? First of all, '90s is a plural, so the s is added to the end. Also, '90s is short for 1990s, where the 19 has been removed. This contraction is indicated by the apostrophe at the beginning.
   
   
   
6. Steve Jobs'/Jobs's health is speculated to be in decline. (B, C)
   
   Why? Bit of murky water here: you might read this as jobz or jobzez, depending on your English usage. The punctuation reflects different pronunciations and so both are correct.
   
   NOTE: Biblical names like Jesus and Moses don't allow for 's on the end.
   
   THEREFORE: some of you may consider the above note as meaning that Steve Jobs is also unable to take 's either, making Jobs' the only correct choice.
   
   
   
7. It's a good thing that under Leopard, its special features are useable. (C)
   
   Why? The exception to the rule!! Remember that the contraction of it+is = it's, but the possessive is its. ALSO part of this exception are mine, thine, yours, his, hers, its, ours and theirs. Thanks for the slap, toholio!
   
   
   
8. MacTalk is a forum that helps with members' questions. (B)
   
   Why? This is a plural, indicating more than one individual - i.e. the questions of more than one member. So if we wrote member's (opposed to members'), then well, that one member would be very fortunate indeed to have a forum dedicated to his/her needs.
   
   
   
9. Our two children's favourite computer is our new Mac Mini. (A)
   
   Why? It would seem logical to say childrens', BUT: children is already a plural word. To make it possessive, we don't need to indicate the plural via the s because the word change does that for us.
   
   
   
10. Out of all the Unixes, Mac OS X Leopard is by far the easiest to use for the average computer user. (C)
    
    Why? Say the plural of Unix. It'll sound something like you-nick-sez. For words that end with an s/z/ch/j sound (opposed to s/x/z/ce/ge etc. spelling), we put -es on the end to make it a plural.
    
    NOTE: Some people like to treat Unix as a latin noun, making it become Unices as a plural. Strictly speaking, this is incorrect, but it is used by a fraction of people.
    
    
    
11. My iMac's speakers are hissing. (B)
    
    Why? The speakers belong to the iMac, so iMac's speakers.
    
    
    
12. They're organising a MTAU meet next week. (C)
    
    Why? They're = they are, their = belonging to them, there = at that place
    
    
    
13. People sell their PCs when they can't be bothered getting rid of all the malware. (B)
    
    Why? Look at Q12. Also note PCs (not PC's)
    
    
    
14. We went to MacWorld and didn't leave there for 13 hours. (A)
    
    Why? Look at Q12
    
    
    
15. I think that your MacBook needs a big service. (A)
    
    Why? Your = belonging to you, you're = you are
    
    
    
16. So what you're saying is that we'll be paying more for less content if we have iTunes movies? (B)
    
    Why? Look at Q15.
    
    
    
17. Decryption's co-ordinating the effort to refresh the MTAU theme. (B)
    
    Why? Decryption's = Decryption is, therefore this is a contraction! You know the rest.

And for the sign: Please clean the benches and stoves after use ... So everyone enjoys our facilities. Ironically no apostrophes were even needed!


Conclusion

But here's the twist: what has been put here is the generally accepted method. There are other methods that deviate and so different style guides can clash with each other in some aspects. So according to one style guide, some of these answers could be wrong, but according to another, they are all correct. Also, it's even more important to realise that language changes. Try listening to English speech from just a couple of hundred years ago, and it would be difficult to understand. But historically, the written mode of English (and most languages) tends to change at a much slower pace. Want to know why words like time, dime and others are pronounced in one way, but police isn't? They used to be pronounced in the same way, but then our spoken language changed, and police was left untouched while the others changed for some reason. In fact, historical linguists use archaic spellings and even modern spellings to find the pronunciation of old words (and it's often misspellings in old texts that give us clues on unknown pronunciations).

But with the Internet, the written mode has exploded out into a hybrid mode between spoken and written in many cases. Written language tends to have a lot more complicated structure to it and tends to be quite formal and standard. But spoken language is spontaneous, simple in structure and informal. This new hybrid mode is observed in Internet sites such as a forum like this one. While what I'm writing in this article is of the "written mode", what I will type in response to a post in a thread is going to be a quick reply that is more similar to the spoken mode.

Likewise with how we punctuate our language, this is also very likely to change in the future. So if you're having second-thoughts about the virtues of English punctuation, don't despair - what we find incorrect now may well be correct in about fifty years' time (time belonging to 50 years)!

For further reading, I highly recommend the hilarious Eats Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss, and (The) Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson.

-Stefanlod

Excellent post, but it just screams grammar nazi++

Great grammatical grievances Batman

Really good stuff stefanlod.
What do you do? Is this a professional thing for you? Or semi-pro???

No need to wonder anymore why this is your avatar??

Please, please, please, do a similar post on basic spelling as well.

Instead of "I heard that too", I've seen twaddle like "I herd that two."

When you are following a thread and then you come across misspellings such as those above, it is very irritating, but then maybe I'm just an old angry fart.

I'm so glad English is my first language ... how hard would it be trying to teach this to a newcomer!

Thank you for bringing this to everyone's attention! It really bugs me when people can't use basic English, I know this is an online medium, and typos and mistakes are inevitable, but the lack of knowledge people hold for things like apostrophes, and phrases like "hear, hear" (which more often than not appears as "here here", is appalling

haha, yeah, seeing "here here" was pretty hilarious

...and I thought posting was meant to be fun.
I am personally here for a bit of fun and to learn something. If I want my grammar to be be picked on I will go back to my Year 9 English teacher, Mr Evans. He use to love telling me that I am an imbosile. That always encouraged me in class.

Great post stefanlod.

A great book on related matters is "Mind the Gaffe: The Penguin Guide to Common Errors in English" by R.L. Trask.

It's good that you added that aside about the changing language... In essence, if something is communicated and received, it is fine. If it happens many times, it might just find itself in the next Oxford.

I got all of them right except #9.

For #3 I chose B and for #6 I chose C, I believe these to be more correct.

Oh, and English is my second language.

according to the english language that i know (the rules of which you might notice i ain't using in this post):

q3 is b only as the ambiguity isn't important enough to allow the extra apostrophe when one choice is an acronym

6 is c only

Edit: just saw Bahamut's post, it seems we have similar schooling on q3 and q6

You shouldn't be allowed to use an apostrophe if you don't know how. Same goes for semicolons.